It was just another random OSAU that ate FFN
by Ginanubismon
Summary: Mimete's birthday is coming up and Eudial wants to get a cheap gift to get it over with.


There was not much that could be said about her co-worker-slash-roommate except there is a slight theory in the recesses of her mind that this girl is actually the daughter of Satan Beelzebub, other than that nothing much comes to mind.

While this normally seems like something of a good deal it was a pain whenever May 20th comes rolling around, as it was a mandatory birthday like everyone else's birthday around here. It was organization policy, something about creating a stronger bond or the sorts. But instead everyone just grabs something cheap that resembles something in the general work space and say "happy birthday" then return to work. And it was well known that Mimete loves idols, one year she made the mistake of getting her a CD which would cost her a few weeks of sleep at home until she had secretly stole the disk and burned it into a pile of plastic.

This year she was going to be careful of what to get. Music was out of the question, and she did not want to get anything large or flashy so she do not have to look at. Perhaps something like a tacky diary or jewelry, small and "personal" that she will never have to hear it, see it or know of its existence again.

Driving down what is usually called _Tacky Way_ by many she parked over the curb while knocking down a trash can. Now begins her hunt for the "perfect" gift in five minutes, or less.

The first store, a simply named place called "Clocks", was true to its name. It was wall to wall clocks, glass cases filled with every type of wristwatch and pocket watch known to man. The place was screaming "Mimete!". But it was also cutting right through Eudial's skull with the ticking, chiming, beeping and blips.

Wanting to leave and get this done yesterday she grabbed the nearest item, a small battery powered alarm clock with a silhouette of a cartoon bunny, then headed for the counter. The man behind the counter was something of a throw back to Billy Idol with dyed platinum hair and black tank tops, his arms seem in a perpetual state of being crossed. She placed the clock onto the counter as the '80's throw back looked it over.

"80,000."

Eudial did a double take. She clutched her chest while using the counter as support before regaining some decor, "yen!"

"No, Rubles. Of course yen."

"It is a hunk of plastic." she pointed down at the item, "what make's it so special?"

The Billy Idol-wannabe, in his infinite knowledge, shrugged. "Don't know."

"So why sell it for 80,000?"

"The economics of RPGs."

Eudial, blinking, was frustrated but shoved the item a side in case she had to jump counter and strangle this man. "Economics of RPGs?"

"Yes."

"Despite the fact it is just an alarm clock, in the middle of Juuban, in the metro-area of Tokyo of Modern day Japan?"

"Yes." Lost for words Eudial stared at the platinum haired man before leaving the store, the man just stood there with his arms crossed. Looking around while listening to the ticking clocks, he twitched a bit before remained still.

"Fire Buster MKIV."

The front windows was blown in as a massive ball of compacted flame "exploded", setting everything on fire. Not Billy Idol just stood there, burn to a crispy skeletal form, with his arms crossed.

-

Getting back on the road she peeled out of there before any authorities arrived she had stopped just down the street in front of some store called Osafuku. She knocked down two trash cans and a pedestrian while parking, she looked up at the sign which was large with multiple colors and a sense of childish design. _Perfect,_ she thought while climbing out.

The store, once she was inside, looked kind of respectable despite the school girls crowding around several counters. There was piles of make up kits and various loose items like compacts and lipsticks all around, near the cashier was several bottles of perfume. Eudial was having second thoughts of coming in here as the idea of having to **smell** the young witch was kind of making nausea wash over her. Steeling herself against the idea maybe there is something cheap and durable here she can buy. At the counter she was greeted by what one can describe as a female keebler elf tweaked on crack.

"May I help you find anything in particular?" the shine of her teeth and the extension of her smile made Eudial wonder if this "person" was real.

"I was looking for something that smells good for under 700 yen."

"Oh well we have these items over here." the surreal saleswoman gestured towards a small space on the counter where several perfume bottles were, Eudial was reluctant to move any closer to them but her body was on autopilot. The saleswoman picked up a bottle with purple liquid inside, "this is a popular item." she sprayed some in the general area that Eudial could catch a whiff.

And was sorry she could smell. To Eudial it smelled like something that stink would say "That stinks." the saleswoman had taken up a different bottle, spraying at the reeling redhead.

This was much worse than before, she could feel her face change colors as the cloud of perfume assaulted, insulted and practically rape her senses with the putrid existence. To her it smelled like sick, dead ass. The saleswoman must have ignored her as the redhead fell to the floor as she retrieve a different bottle. Eudial climb back up slowly scared to experience the next one.

She was right, this was the worst yet. As the cloud of unholy fumes was unleashed she fell down, almost convulsing. Regaining some coherency she climbed to her feet, staring the saleswoman dead in the eye. "Is there any perfume that does not smell like when you go to an apartment building and smell everyone's cooking plus crap?"

The saleswoman, who kept her strange smile, only laughed. "Lady, you came to the wrong place."

Eudial, lost at any retort, just left the store. It was not even worth destroying.

-

23 destroyed trash cans, four large pane glass windows and more destruction done to stores to shame a Gojira movie she came across a small store called Osa-P. There was a linger of hope that this place would be the last store she would visit in a life time the redhead looked through the window first, everything seemed normal as there was just a few shoppers and normal looking items. Taking a moment to steel herself, she entered the store. Behind the counter was a young girl, from the name tag it said her name was Naru, just standing around being normal. With caution and extreme suspicion she wonder over to the girl.

"May I help you?" she was cheerful, but in the scary "I want to wear you face like a mask" way.

"What is the cheapest thing you got here?"

Naru, whose smile dropped with the charm reserved for more expensive costumers as she reach beneath the counter to pull up a bucket with a crossed out 700 and beneath that was a poorly drawn 500. "The discount bucket," she pointed while speaking flatly. "Stuff taken back with typo'ed or just plain wrong inscriptions."

Eudial, who was more then giddy to finish this torturous quest, plunged her hand into the bucket and pulled out what could be a very expensive sapphire necklace. There was no strange smell, it was priced right and the sales person was waiting for payment like a normal person. Paying she walked of the store without even looking back, it was over.

-

She was just sitting on the couch painting her toe nails when her roommate came in looking haggard and tired, she shuffled towards the young bright haired witch with something dangling in her hand.

"Here, your freakin' birthday present." she muttered as she tossed the necklace into the lap of the younger girl before shuffling off.

Picking it up she was surprised at the necklace, one with a diamond shaped sapphire hung on a silver chain. Turning it around there was something written on the back, reading it she inhale sharply through her teeth. _How did she know my secret?_ Mimete thought, after all this time she was trying very hard to conceal her true self from everyone and her archenemies had exposed it. But it was such a sweet gesture. Maybe it was time. "Yuuko-sempai, this so thoughtful."

"Whatever." she said as she was almost to her room.

"How did you know that I was a lesbian?"

* * *

Thanks for reading my short story. I did this quickly and without much thought except it was suppose to be A. somewhat funny/humorous, B. involve two of the witches five and C. just try not to be like the OSAUs out there. 


End file.
